revdrxk

Rev. Xolani Kacela, Ph.D.

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      • YOUR READING COPY! The Black UU Survival Guide: How to Survive as an African American Unitarian Universalist and How Allies Can Keep It 100
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      • JYA on Think Again, Part 1
      • JYA on Think Again, Part 5
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Jumpstart Your Allyship VideoChat

September 15, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

Jumpstart Your Allyship VideoChat

Think Again – September 28, 2021

Click the arrow to watch the video or click here to download to your device.

This video follows up on our in-studio conversation on Think Again, broadcast on KTAL-LP FM 101.5.

This Jumpstart Your Allyship VideoChat presents a real-life conversation between two persons with opposing ideas. Watch them strive for common ground, and therefore, allyship. The two men, Randy Harris and Xolani “xk” Kacela, discuss the pros and cons Zoom meetings. They contrast Zoom with in-person meetings.

As a viewer, we hope you discover merit in the approach we take, which comes from the book, Jumpstart Your Allyship, by Xolani. We offer this videochat as an example of allyship in action.

What To Look For In The Video

We hope the videochat demonstrates two guys, one African American and one White. They have different backgrounds and views. Yet, they hash out an important issue with respect for each other.

Together, the two guys jumpstart their allyship.

Notice how “xk” kept it 100 by asking Randy a difficult question about whether he’s approaching Zoom meetings like “a Neanderthal.” That question demonstrated interrogating Randy’s status honestly. In order to make that move, “xk” overrode his fear factor. Often, prevents people from getting real with each other.

Next, Randy responded to “xk’s” challenging and personal question without getting defensive. He answered openly and sincerely, thus, moving the conversation and allyship in a positive direction.

Your Challenge

Take time to rewatch the video. What do you notice the second time? Can you imagine yourself engaging in a similar conversation with a BIPOC over a difficult topic? Where might you begin? With whom do you wish you were an ally?

Bottom line: It’s up to you to keep it 100!

You can reach Randy Harris at rharris27@hotmail.com and xk at xk@revdrxk.com.

Randy Harris, host of Think Again on KTAL-LP. Jumpstart Your Allyship Videochat.
Randy Harris (right) and Keith.

You can purchase the book, Jumpstart Your Allyship by clicking this link.

Please leave your comments below.

Valerie Mason John aka Vimalasara

September 8, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

Valerie Mason John aka Vimalasara

Take On Faith – September 11, 2021

Valerie Mason John, also known as Vimalasara, teaches Buddhism in the Triratna Buddhist tradition. They joined host Xolani Kacela from her home in Vancouver, British Columbia for this episode of Take On Faith.

Valerie Mason John is the award-winning author of 10 books, and the co-author and co-founder of Eight Step Recovery: Using The Buddha’s Teaching to Overcome Addiction.

Vimalasara shared many powerful life experiences. Those included: how they discovered Buddhism after years of life in foster care, on the streets, and in prison as a youth. Importantly, they found themselves surrounded by people who meditated. That sparked their curiosity about practicing meditation.

Valerie Mason John discussed their Buddhist practice and how it helped them adopt a new mindset to overcome “stinking thinking,” which they discussed on their 2013 TEDx Talk.

Click the arrow above to listen to the audio or click here to download your own copy.

You can reach Vimalasara on their website: https://www.valeriemason-john.com/about/ or on her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/valeriemasonjohn

From the guest’s website:

Dr. Valerie (Vimalasara) Mason-John, M.A (hon.doc) is a public speaker and master trainer in the field of conflict transformation, leadership and mindfulness. They was featured at TEDxRenfrewCollingwood where they gave a talk titled, We are what we think, which outlined a course of action we can take to work on the global epidemic of bullying.

Valerie is the award-winning author of 10 books, and the co-author and co-founder of Eight Step Recovery: Using The Buddha’s Teaching to Overcome Addiction. Since its publication, it has won the Best USA Book Award 2014 and Best International Book Award 2015 in the self motivational and self help category. Eight Step Recovery offers an alternative to the 12 step program for addiction. Eight Step meetings are now taking place in the UK, USA, Canada, Mexico, India and Finland. Valerie uses the pronouns they/their/them because they do not subscribe to how society defines a woman. She/Her limits their capacity to be who they truly are.

Mindfulness Teacher & Recovery Coach

Valerie is the co-creator of Mindfulness Based Addiction Recovery (MBAR). They are a certified professional Mindfulness Teacher, Recovery Coach, Life Coach, and a Compassionate Inquiry Facilitator and Practitioner. Valerie has been practicing mindfulness for over 30 years and is one of the leading African-descent voices in the field of mindfulness and addiction. She trains professionals working in the field of addiction all over the world.

They are also  the author of Detox Your Heart: Meditations for Emotional Trauma — a self-help guide on mindfulness of negative emotions.

Dharma Teacher

Valerie — also known as Vimalasara — was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Community and is a senior teacher in this tradition. Although they work tirelessly in the field of mindfulness, the Buddhist teachings are an essential part of her personal practice.

They are the chairperson of the Triratna Vancouver Buddhist Centre in British Columbia, Canada, and leads and co-leads retreats both nationally and internationally. They was also the co-founder of Healing and Insight and is a teacher on Worldwide Insight.

Playwright

Valerie wrote the box office sell-out cult play, Sin Dykes, and has been touring their one woman show, Brown Girl In The Ring, internationally for the past ten years. The show is adapted to current issues and politics, while keeping to the plot that they are related to the Queen of England. They recently co-produced blackhalifax.com — 12 short poetic dramas documenting the African-descent history of Halifax, Nova Scotia dating back to the 1600’s.

How to Convince Your Friend to Get the Vaccine

August 15, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

How to Convince Your Friend to Get the Vaccine

How to Convince Your Friend to Get the Vaccine. Do you have friends that have not gotten the coronavirus vaccine, yet? If the answer is yes, they need your help to find a way to get the vaccine. As a good friend, use your influence to persuade them to do the right thing.

Is important to help friends who have not gotten a vaccine make an appointment to go. Some people need prompting to help them find a solution to their problems. If a person has not got the vaccine, they are at risk of catching coronavirus, or COVID-19, and they have a problem.

Delta variant.

Here are a few easy steps to help you help your friend and family members who still need the coronavirus vaccine.

1 Ask your friend who hasn’t gotten the vaccine to explain the reasons they haven’t. Chances are that your friend may not believe they need the vaccine. They may believe is fake news that coronavirus exist. Ask them to explain the reasons they have not gone to get the vaccine, yet.

Be prepared for them to say they don’t want to tell you. But don’t let this discourage you because you need to understand it as a friend.

Listening

2 Listen carefully without interrupting. This is called active listening. It is a powerful way to build a good relationship and allow your friend to be heard. As they are talking, do not interrupt them. Even if they’re droning on, keep listening without but again.

2a If they talk without further prompting, continue to nod your head signaling you’re listening. As they talk, not your head, lean in toward them, smile and look interested. These may sound like fake ways to act, but it works.

2b If they answer, “Because I don’t want to” or something like that, ask, “How come?” The point to keep in mind here is that you need them to talk honestly. However, you don’t want them to become defensive and angry at you for trying to help them do something good for themselves and your community. So keep asking, “how come,” until you began getting good answers; real answers.

2c Keep asking “How come” until they talk. Keep repeating this phrase. Do it with curiosity, not pressure. For example, you might say, “I’m really interested in you and I care about the choices you are making.”

2d Do not ask, “Why?” because that makes people defensive. when you ask, “why?” people become upset and believe that you are attacking their reasons for acting as they do. You want to avoid this at all costs. There are more ways to ask “why” if you are imaginative.

Active listening/Mirroring

3 Begin repeating back what you heard. This is the easy step. Be persistent, but not pushy.

3a Make sure you hear “That’s right” from them. Keep trying to repeat until you hear it. A good way to know that you’re on the right track is when a person responds with something affirmative, such as, “That’s right!” When you hear that, you know that you are on the right track in that would you repeated is accurate. You should be proud of yourself for getting it right. Keep doing what you are doing and the person will continue talking because they like being heard.

Show Concern

4 Explain to them that you care about their health and want them to be safe. It’s always good to let people know the reason that you’re concerned about them. Sometimes, that helps them feel safe around you and trust that you have good intentions. Be genuine when you express your concern.

Offer to Go With Them

5 Offer to go with them to get the vaccine. Often, people are acting based on fear. They are afraid to do something that they are totally unaware of or unfamiliar with. In today’s climate, many people feel pressure because they belong to a certain group and want to act the way their group tells them to act. They may be trying to live up to a certain set of expectations, even though those expectations go against their true beliefs.

By offering to go with them, you are helping them to overcome the fear acting as a Lone Ranger. People feel better when they have someone that agrees with them to go along with them.

5a Offer to help them make an appointment. The first step in getting a coronavirus vaccine is to make an appointment at a local clinic, Walmart clinic, Walgreens pharmacy, or other approved health care place. People need to register to make the appointment. Be willing to help your friend or family member do that.

5b Find out when they plan to go for accountability. You need to hold them accountable, that is, make sure they keep their word. The best way to do that is to find out if they have a plan or schedule to go get the vaccine. If they don’t, encourage them to decide and make an appointment.

6 Be prepared to go. In the event they asked you to go with them, be ready to go at the time convenient for them, not you. Make it easy for them to keep their appointment. This is important for folks to know How to Convince Your Friend to Get the Vaccine.

Follow-Up with Your Person

7 After the appointment, follow-up to make sure they are feeling well. The vaccine has known side effects that take place today after the vaccine is received. You want to check on your friend or family to make sure they’re feeling OK. It helps to remind them that the symptoms are coming and are predictable, so they won’t be surprised. Encourage them to get rest the day after the vaccine; Not to schedule any important work or meetings or other appointments.

7a Find out when the 2nd shot appointment is, if there is one. Some vaccines require two shots, so you need to make sure your friend or family member has an appointment for round two. If they have the Johnson and Johnson vaccine, they only need one shot and they are done.

8 Repeat steps 5—7 Remember, the issue here is: How to Convince Your Friend to Get the Vaccine.

Great job!

Give yourself a pat on the back for doing such a great job and looking out for your friend and family member. Repeat this step as often as you need to make sure everyone in your friendship circle is vaccinated.

Right now, the people who are getting sick or those without vaccines. Try not to let your friends talk you out of helping them. Be strong willed and confident that you are doing the right thing for your friends, family, and your community.

Rabbi Daniel Cohen

August 14, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

Rabbi Daniel Cohen

Take On Faith – August 14, 2021

Rabbi Daniel Cohen, Senior Rabbi at Congregation Agudath Shalom in Stamford, Connecticut, is the guest. He joined host Xolani Kacela on Take On Faith to discuss his book, what will they say about you when you are gone, published by Health Communications. The program was broadcast on KTAL-LP 101.5 in Las Cruces, NM.

Rabbi Cohen and xk discussed the seven principles for living a life of legacy. Also, they dug into the meaning of “reverse engineering” one’s life. That  describes how to live one’s true purpose and realize one’s “divine potential.”

The conversation covered many topics from the book, to include embracing meditative minutes, finding Elijah moments, and bringing light into the world through act of goodness.

Rabbi Cohen’s website is rabbidanielcohen.com.

Click the arrow to listen to the audio or click here to download.

You can contact Rabbi Daniel Cohen at rabbicohen@cas-stamford.org.

From Guest’s Website:

Popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker, Rabbi Daniel Cohen’s unique blend of authenticity, humor, wisdom, and insight helps anyone better navigate contemporary society and lead a life of legacy. Engaging in hundreds of end of life conversations and delivering thousands of eulogies provide him with a unique perspective on the essence of a meaningful life.

Rabbi Cohen has served in the rabbinate for over thirty years and currently serves as senior Rabbi at Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, CT, the largest modern orthodox synagogue in New England. Rabbi Cohen is author of What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Creating a Life of Legacy, speaks nationally on leading a life of legacy and is currently writing two books.

The first is a parable book on the secret of the light and the second is with former NBA All Star and Olympic Gold medalist Allan Houston on legacy. He is co-host with Reverend Greg Doll of the nationally syndicated Radio Show, The Rabbi and the Reverend and writes for the Huffington Post Blog and is a Bottom Line Inc. Expert.

He enjoys doing magic shows, playing sports, writing, searching for God, and living life with joy and ever-present smile! Rabbi Cohen and Diane are the grateful parents of six daughters and two grandsons.

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