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Rev. Xolani Kacela, Ph.D.

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The Kindness of Strangers

November 22, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

The Kindness of Strangers

November 22, 2021

I often experience the kindness of spring strangers in extraordinary ways. But two unrelated recent events put me a contact with people who extended themselves beyond the call of friendliness. Their kind acts prompted me to contact them afterward and let them know how much I appreciated them.

The events made me wonder something. Were the people affected by recent protests that encourage allyship and more conscious acts of kindness towards African Americans? Or were they simply great Samaritans in their own right. Both were at play in both instances.

My wife says people are kind to me because of my personality and countenance, which may have some truth. I believe people are good and expect goodness from them. When I look at myself, I don’t see anyone different from other Ordinary Joes walking down the street.

In one instance, two young guys rescued me after I overturned a boat in deep water. The accident occurred after I jerked my outboard motor tiller causing the boat to flip. I wore my life jacket and sustained no injuries. My vessel received minor damage and I lost some gear.

The two young guys came and conveyed my boat back to the dock, and, treated me like I was their best friend. They could have done the minimum or ignored me altogether and left me out in the water. After bringing me aboard their boat and back to shore, they retrieved all my gear they could find. They put the boat back together. They also performed other acts of kindness that I expected to do myself.

Their respect towards me, as a Black man, was simply the best. I imagine some of their kindness resulted from their families’ teachings or their military bearing since we were on a military base. They could have been influenced by recent events raising awareness about the plight of African American men.

I simply don’t know. I was overwhelmed by the two men. So I called them to express my appreciation a couple of days after the event took place.

In another instance, my wife and I met an older gentleman, probably in his 70s, who was with his four-year-old grandson. We hit it off upon meeting each other as we were preparing our boats for launch in the bay. The conversations were so friendly and warm the gentleman gave me some gear for trip, and later, following his fishing expedition, gave me some of his catch. Not only did it give me some fish, he gave me the largest of his catch, which was a beautiful, trophy-sized Red Drum.

I thought of him as a generous spirit who displayed a super kind act far beyond everyday experience. We got to know each other better after connecting several times.

It makes me wonder why there is so much distress for other Black men going about their lives in a non-drama fashion. Are the people who cause harm under duress or driven by unconscious bias and aggression? Where is their wiring that endears them towards kindness?

I don’t believe I deserve any better treatment than the next guy. In fact, my close friends, most of whom are African American, enjoy the same freedoms and kindness of strangers as others.

There is enough White on White crime in this country, particularly, to tell me that most crime happens regardless race. The recent trial of Kyle Rittenhouse provides a perfect example White on White violence, which resulted in two deaths and five felony charges against Rittenhouse. Last week, Rittenhouse was found not guilty on all charges, which is my opinion, what’s the fair verdict resulting from a fair trial. The point I’m making here is that the trial was prompted by acts by a White person against other White people.

Still, the use of force by law enforcement officers against Black men far exceeds the use of force against Whites. The Center for Policing Equity reports the mean rate for Black residents was 273 per 100,000. That is 2.5 times as high as the overall rate and 3.6 times as high as the rate for White residents (76 per 100,000).[1] That represents a significant disparity.

Is a correlation between use of force and use of kindness possible?

I wonder why (or whether) most kindness doesn’t extend itself as I experience it? If it did, it seems human beings can disrupt prejudice, reduce bias in the world, and offer one another equal respect, without regard to skin color and origin.

At this stage of my life, most of my daily human contact is with kind White people. That is a product of living in Las Cruces, New Mexico, a city with about three percent African Americans. I also pastor a 96% White Unitarian Universalist church.

On this Thanksgiving week, I plan to reach out to my friends I met who were so generous and helped me and showed kindness for the sake of being kind. I want to let them know how much I appreciate them as human beings. Their kindness affected my life and boosted my spirits and confidence in human relationships, especially between African Americans and Whites.


[1] Phillip Atiba Goff, Ph.D., et al., The Science of Justice: Race, Arrests, and Police Use of Force, Los Angeles, Center for Policing Equity, July 2016, 14.

Rabbi Daniel Cohen

August 14, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

Rabbi Daniel Cohen

Take On Faith – August 14, 2021

Rabbi Daniel Cohen, Senior Rabbi at Congregation Agudath Shalom in Stamford, Connecticut, is the guest. He joined host Xolani Kacela on Take On Faith to discuss his book, what will they say about you when you are gone, published by Health Communications. The program was broadcast on KTAL-LP 101.5 in Las Cruces, NM.

Rabbi Cohen and xk discussed the seven principles for living a life of legacy. Also, they dug into the meaning of “reverse engineering” one’s life. That  describes how to live one’s true purpose and realize one’s “divine potential.”

The conversation covered many topics from the book, to include embracing meditative minutes, finding Elijah moments, and bringing light into the world through act of goodness.

Rabbi Cohen’s website is rabbidanielcohen.com.

Click the arrow to listen to the audio or click here to download.

You can contact Rabbi Daniel Cohen at rabbicohen@cas-stamford.org.

From Guest’s Website:

Popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker, Rabbi Daniel Cohen’s unique blend of authenticity, humor, wisdom, and insight helps anyone better navigate contemporary society and lead a life of legacy. Engaging in hundreds of end of life conversations and delivering thousands of eulogies provide him with a unique perspective on the essence of a meaningful life.

Rabbi Cohen has served in the rabbinate for over thirty years and currently serves as senior Rabbi at Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, CT, the largest modern orthodox synagogue in New England. Rabbi Cohen is author of What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Creating a Life of Legacy, speaks nationally on leading a life of legacy and is currently writing two books.

The first is a parable book on the secret of the light and the second is with former NBA All Star and Olympic Gold medalist Allan Houston on legacy. He is co-host with Reverend Greg Doll of the nationally syndicated Radio Show, The Rabbi and the Reverend and writes for the Huffington Post Blog and is a Bottom Line Inc. Expert.

He enjoys doing magic shows, playing sports, writing, searching for God, and living life with joy and ever-present smile! Rabbi Cohen and Diane are the grateful parents of six daughters and two grandsons.

Dravon James

May 30, 2021 by xk Leave a Comment

Dravon James

Take On Faith – June 2021

Dravon James is author of Freedom is Your Birthright. She joined host, Rev. Xolani Kacela, for a multi-faceted conversation on Take On Faith. The show broadcasts on KTAL-LP FM 101.5.

Dravon James is known as an inspirational speaker, radio host, and life coach. Moreover, she is the founder of Everyday Peace. EP serves as her platform for helping and inspiring others to build the life of their dreams.

A pharmacist by training, she uses her pharmacist skills for bringing light into other peoples’ lives. Plus, it’s on the show, where she shares her Everyday Peace message.

She also hosts her weekly radio show “Everyday Peace” on Unity Radio.

Click the arrow above to listen to the audio or click this link to download the file.

You can reach Dr. Dravon James on her social media handles: Twitter, Instagram, and Skype.

From guest’s website:

Her journey began in poverty on the South Side of Chicago. Though she had always dreamed of a career on the stage, Dravon went on to earn a doctorate in pharmacy from Creighton University and has worked as a pharmacist all of her adult life. Along with her medical career and theatrical aspirations, Dravon has also had a keen interest in personal development. After reading Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking in college, she went on to make a lifelong study of the power we all have to create the life we want.

Rich Kirkpatrick

February 11, 2021 by xk

Rich Kirkpatrick

Take On Faith – February 13, 2021

Rich Kirkpatrick joined host, Xolani Kacela, for a conversation on Take On Faith from his home in Long Beach, California. During the talk, Kirkpatrick discussed his long and winding faith journey. He has been a member of several faith communities.

During this episode of Take on Faith, Kirkpatrick was lively and engaging. He provided a clear picture of how he hopes his music changes people and the world. Listeners will enjoy this conversation from KTAL-LP 101.5 FM from Las Cruces, NM.

Click on the arrow above to listen to the audio or click here to download.

Rich Kirkpatrick is the author of The Six Hats of the Worship Leader. His work focuses on building the life of the church. He consults with church leaders, coaching, and speaking. As a worship professional, Kirkpatrick serves in many roles. His specialty is taking worship leaders to the next level.

Currently, Kirkpatrick blogs at RKblog.com. He designed a guide for those interested in the creative process. It is called The Dream, The Sandbox, and the Story. The guide diagrams the creative process in great detail.

Later this year, Kirkpatrick plans to release his next book. In it, he explores creativity, brain science, and music.

Kirkpatrick speaks around the country as he trains worship leaders. As a musician, he is a songwriter and recording artist. He and his daughter, Emilie, form the group known as A Beautiful Liturgy.

About the Six Hats

Many church leadership books today seem to focus heavily on the language of the corporate world. Throw a creative worship leader into the mix and vertigo sets in for all involved. Why? Creative leaders simply think differently. The Six Hats shows you how to better explain your worship leadership to those in charge. For those whose role comprises leading worship leaders, the language shared in Kirkpatrick’s book aims to help you take your team to their next level.

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